


All I Want For Christmas

by srtlv



Category: Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga (2020)
Genre: Christmas, Gay Alexander Lemtov, Happy Ending, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-29
Updated: 2020-12-04
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:35:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27776212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/srtlv/pseuds/srtlv
Summary: Kevin breaks up with Alexander in Edinburgh because of the way Alexander treats him in public. Can Alexander win him back before Christmas?
Relationships: Alexander Lemtov & Mita Xenakis, Alexander Lemtov/Kevin Swain
Comments: 10
Kudos: 12





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to write a Christmas story, so here you go. This does not have a happy beginning but it does have a happy ending. The first chapter is not Christmassy, the second one is.  
> Also, this is not related to my other Alexander/Kevin fics, as it includes a different interpretation of the events during the Eurovision final in Edinburgh.

Alexander strolled down the backstage corridors of the arena in Edinburgh, looking for Kevin. On the stage the final performances were still ongoing, and he should really have been in the green room already, but after his own fantastic performance, and then what had happened on stage with Fire Saga, he felt he needed a moment’s distraction. During his show he’d had to signal to Kevin not to watch him so intently, and now he wanted to make up for that. 

Finally he saw Kevin walking towards him, alone. He grabbed the other man by the arm, and pulled him to an empty room next to them, closing the door.

“What are you doing?”, for some reason Kevin did not seem pleased. 

Alexander pulled him closer, grinning. “What do you think I’m doing?”

Kevin took a step back, wrenching his arm free. “No, Alexander, I’m tired of this!”

Alexander had not expected anything out of the ordinary. “What do you mean?”, he asked, alarmed. 

“I mean this!”, Kevin gestured around the room. “Hiding in dark places together, when publicly all you do is push me away.”

“I don’t know what you are talking about.” Alexander started to sound irritated. He really did not have time for this right now. 

“You know exactly what I’m talking about. You just shook your head at me in front of millions of people!” 

“Well, you can’t look at me like that when I’m on stage!”

“What, so now I can’t even _look_ at you in public?” Kevin’s dark eyes were blazing with anger.

“Not like that! Sigrit saw it, she asked me if I’m gay!”

“You spent the night with her braiding her hair! And have you even seen your own show? I’m surprised it took her this long!”

Alexander seemed offended. “What about my show?”

“Alexander, you dance with half-naked men in leather pants. With whips! It’s practically foreplay on stage! Your show may just be the gayest thing in Eurovision ever!”

Alexander scoffed. “This not true. It’s just very…masculine!”

“You are such a hypocrite! You stroll around Eurovision in the flashiest designer outfits, with that diamond stud in your ear and your little harem in tow, and then if I even look at you the wrong way, you blame me for jeopardizing your career!”

There was an icy look in Alexander’s blue eyes. “They are professional dancers!”

“Of course they are! But don’t tell me for one second that you didn’t choose them because of their looks! I’m done with watching your little act, posing straight off the stage, ignoring me in all ways possible. You actively push me away when anyone else is around, and then try to kiss me in the next dark corner when no one’s watching. This is Eurovision, we are in Edinburgh, and even here, of all places, you are obsessed with appearing straight.”

Alexander spread his hands helplessly. “I have no choice. You know this, Kevin. It’s not my choice to live like this.”

“It’s not? Because I think that’s exactly what it is, your choice. If you want to flirt with outing yourself on stage, and then remain firmly in the closet off it, then so be it, but I’m not going to be a part of it anymore. I have been out for years. I am not going back in the closet because of you, and it is not something you can force me to do!”

At that moment someone opened the door. It was one of the technicians, probably coming to pick up something from the room. He saw the two men turning to stare at him angrily. “Umm…Sorry!”, he said, and retreated back, closing the door again.

“Look, Alexander, I am not saying that you should parade out of the closet and tell everyone you’re gay. I’m not stupid. But let’s take Sigrit as an example, since you brought her up. Why shouldn’t she know the truth? What would it matter if your friends knew?”

“Kevin, you are being unreasonable. I don’t have time for this, I should be in the green room already.”

“I’m being unreasonable? You tell me I can’t even look at you in public, and then expect me to be available to you whenever you feel like it! Go to the green room, and sit there flirting with all the female contestants on camera while the entire gay population of Europe has seen the truth and votes for you to win. But I don’t want any part in it. I’m done with it. We’re done. This, whatever this is to you, is over.”

Kevin marched to the door. Then he turned back one final time. 

“And next time you’re outside Russia, don’t bother contacting me again. Find someone else to play your games with.” He left, slamming the door shut on his way out. 

“Maybe I will!”, Alexander shouted after him, even though he knew Kevin probably couldn’t hear it anymore. Then he swore heavily in Russian, waited a few minutes, and left the room, slamming the door a second time. 

***

Before entering the green room Alexander plastered his best fake smile on his face. He stepped in and walked to his place, greeting everyone, exchanging a few friendly words with some, with the smile never leaving his face. It just did not quite reach his eyes. 

He sat down and glanced towards Iceland. Lars and Sigrit were snuggling up on the sofa, with eyes only for each other. He turned his gaze away and met that of Mita’s. She seemed to sense something was not right, and raised her eyebrows questioningly. Alexander looked away. He didn’t have the energy to explain any of what had just happened to anybody. 

Alexander was annoyed. This was supposed to be his night, his triumph, and now Kevin had ruined it all with this unnecessary drama. As the votes for Russia poured in, he kept replaying their conversation in his head over and over again. It had seemed Kevin was serious, there was probably no chance of makeup sex later. Maybe Kevin would calm down in a few weeks, and they could continue as they had so far, meeting anytime Alexander was outside of Russia? Obviously it was not ideal, but the best he could do. Something told him he might be hoping in vain. That door slamming shut had felt very final.

When all the points were in, it was clear: he had won. He smiled and laughed and celebrated and accepted congratulations, but the whole time he felt hollow inside. Something had changed, and he was not sure if he would be able to fix it. Suddenly, in the moment when his future should have been wide open ahead of him, full of possibilities, it all felt bleak.

***

“So what did he say?”. Mita offered him the glass of champagne she had just poured. It had been a couple of weeks since Alexander’s win, and they finally had the time to sit down and discuss in private. They were lounging in Alexander’s palace.

Alexander accepted the glass. “That I’m a hypocrite. That I push him away in public, and then expect him to be there in private whenever I want. But that is how this works, he knows this.”

Mita considered this for a moment. “He likes you.”, she then said.

“Of course he likes me, everyone likes me!”

“No, I mean he _likes you_ likes you. He is tired of being just your toy. He wants more. This is why he is hurt. What else did he say?”

“That the next time I’m outside Russia, I should find someone else to play with.”

“See? Well, find someone else then, problem solved! Lots of men out there happy to fill in for him.” Mita raised her glass to him and took a sip. 

Alexander sighed. “I’m not sure I want to.”

“Ooh, so now that you can’t get him, you want him? You’re such a cliché!”

“I don’t know. Maybe I always wanted him? But I didn’t realize earlier.”

Mita shrugged. “Well, if you want him, but he does not want what you can offer him, you either need to forget him or find a way to offer him something else.” 

“Well, thank you. Very helpful, MIta!” Alexander grimaced. 

Mita put her hand on Alexander’s arm. “Alexander, I know this is not easy for you. But if you want to make if work with him, maybe you need to think about all he said and figure out if there’s any truth to it. If he doesn’t want to be your toy, and you don’t want him to be your toy, if you both want more, then maybe you still have a chance.”

***

Alexander kept thinking about what Mita had said. Maybe she was right. He texted Kevin a few times, but the messages were always left at read. There was no reply. Alexander prepared for his European tour and tried to distract himself with work. He was surprised by how often he found himself missing Kevin. 

Then, one night towards the end of the summer, just before his tour was to begin, he drank a bit too much vodka at a party and ended up texting Kevin several times. He realized this the next morning, staring at his phone, horrified and embarrassed by the texts he had sent, rambling and full of typos. As he was staring at the conversation in horror, the app suddenly announced that Kevin was typing. A sliver of hope woke up inside Alexander. Maybe Kevin missed him too? Perhaps he would agree to a phone call, maybe even to meet? Then the message appeared.

“Very classy, Alexander. Blocked.”

Alexander threw his phone across the room in frustration, and shouted his anger into his pillow.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the second chapter, where we finally get to the Christmassy part. Have a great holiday season, and enjoy the earworm!

The tour was a success. Alexander performed in front of full audiences all over Europe. When he had some free time between the concerts, he walked around European cities in their autumn splendour, mostly people watching. It felt like he spotted gay couples everywhere: at the sights, walking hand-in-hand in parks, kissing in the nightclubs. He had never paid much attention before. He suddenly realized that this was the world Kevin came from, a world where he could openly be with anyone, and expect the same amount of openness from his partner. Slowly, he started to see their relationship from Kevin’s perspective, and with a deep sadness he realized that perhaps Kevin had not been quite as unreasonable as he had originally thought. 

He was set to perform in London in December, before a show in Edinburgh, followed by a Christmas break. He asked his assistant to find out Kevin’s address and mail him a ticket for the London concert, in the best seats, of course. He didn’t know what to expect but asked the assistant to check during the concert whether Kevin was there, as he had a plan. She came backstage during a wardrobe change and shook her head as a sign. Kevin’s seat remained empty. Alexander felt defeated, but he did have a plan B. He asked the assistant for the address. 

The following day was a Saturday, and Alexander spent the day trying to find the courage to put his plan into action. Then, when the evening had already darkened, he asked his driver to drop him off at the address. It was surprisingly cold for London, and a couple of snowflakes drifted down from the sky as he stepped out of the car and told the driver that if he didn’t call him within an hour, he could have the rest of the night off. 

Alexander stared at the apartment building in front of him, wondering what would happen when he’d ring the doorbell. It was Saturday evening, so maybe Kevin wasn’t even at home? What would he do then? Come back the following day? Then an even more terrifying thought struck him. What if the door would be opened by some handsome stranger, calling Kevin “honey”? Perhaps they would even be wearing matching Christmas pyjamas! Alexander realized that his imagination was now on overdrive: Kevin would never wear matching Christmas pyjamas with anyone, except maybe if they were by Dolce & Gabbana. 

There was no use making up these scenarios, he would just have to go and find out. He took a deep breath and walked to the front door. It was locked, but some people were just coming out, so he slipped in at the same time, giving them a friendly smile and a “hello” as if he belonged there. It looked like Kevin’s apartment was on the top floor. He stepped into the elevator and pushed the button. Soon he was standing outside the door to the apartment. There were some faint noises from the inside, maybe music? Did Kevin have some friends over? That might even be better. He squared himself and rang the doorbell. 

It took a minute, but then the door was opened by a blond man in his thirties. Not too good-looking, Alexander was relieved to notice. No Christmas pyjamas in sight either, DG or otherwise. 

The blond man stared at Alexander. “You are Alexander Lemtov!”, he blurted. 

Alexander smiled. “Yes. Does Kevin Swain live here?”

“Yes, you’re in the right place. Come in!”

Alexander was slightly surprised by this. “Do you…live here?”, he asked.

“Nah, I’m just here for the party.” 

The apartment was indeed full of people, holding glasses and chatting. Jazzy Christmas music was playing in the background. This was perfect, Alexander thought, even better than he could have imagined.

“You can leave your coat there”, the blond man gestured towards another room. “I’ll tell Kevin you are here.”

“I…”, Alexander started, but the man was already gone, so he followed the advice and went to put his coat away. The room was clearly Kevin’s bedroom. The king-sized bed in the middle of the room was covered in coats, so Alexander carefully put his long designer coat on top of the pile. He had a quick look around the room. Very stylish, but no indication of more than one inhabitant. He felt relieved. 

He stepped into the living room, filled with people standing around, drinking and chatting. It was a spacious room with big windows and a nice view of the city lights. The interior design was as modern and tasteful as was to be expected. A big Christmas tree stood in one corner, its decorations carefully colour-coordinated. It was all very different from Alexander’s personal style, all so very _Kevin_ , but Alexander had always admired his eye for design. 

Alexander picked up a glass of champagne from a side table and sipped it. It was not his favourite, but it was passable. Suddenly someone grabbed his shoulder and spun him around.

“How are you here?” Kevin’s dark eyes were blazing again. 

Alexander shrugged. “Someone opened the door.”

“No, I mean what are you doing here?”, Kevin hissed, pulling Alexander to the side of the room.

“I had to come. You didn’t come to my concert. I sent you a ticket.”

“I know you did. Why would I have come to your concert?”. Kevin tried to keep his voice low, but it was clear he was furious. 

“To see me. And my show.”

“I have seen you enough to know exactly the kind of show you are putting on.”

Alexander had the feeling he was not talking about the concert anymore. 

“You are still mad at me,” he remarked. 

“I’m not _still_ mad at you. I’m mad at you _again_ , because you show up at my Christmas party, uninvited, after half a year. You can’t just casually walk back into my life unannounced like that!”

“I would have texted you, but you block me.”

“ _For a reason._ I think you should leave now.” 

Alexander had not expected Kevin to still be quite this angry. Perhaps it was because of the party? He started to doubt whether his plan was a good one, after all. 

He looked Kevin deep into the eyes. “Kevin, I came here to do just one thing. Please, let me do this, and then I leave.”

People around them had started to notice that something was going on. It was clear that they were pretending very hard not to notice or listen. Kevin didn’t want to cause even more of a scene. He threw his hands in the air, exasperated. “Whatever!”

Alexander grinned at him. Then he walked to the Christmas tree, picking up a spoon on the way from a hot cocoa buffet that was laid out on a side table. He turned towards the room and clinked his glass with the spoon a few times. People turned to look at him, and conversation started to die down. There were a few surprised faces and frantic whispers when some of the guests recognized him. 

“Could someone turn down the music, please”, he requested. Someone did. 

“Thank you. Hello everyone. My name is Alexander Lemtov. I’m sorry to disturb your Christmas party like this, but I had to because Kevin did not come to my concert yesterday.”

People were staring, not sure if this was meant as a joke. Someone guffawed. 

“Alexander, I…”, Kevin started, looking annoyed.

“Kevin, please, let me finish. What I came here to say to you is that you were absolutely right, and I’m sorry. Really, really sorry. And also…”

He looked Kevin in the eyes and started singing. 

_“I don’t want a lot for Christmas  
There is just one thing I need…”_

Someone gasped. Kevin was looking at him, simultaneously angry and incredulous. 

_“Don’t care about the presents  
Underneath the Christmas tree…”_

One of Kevin’s friends sidled up to him. “Why is Alexander Lemtov in your living room, singing Mariah Carey to you?”, he asked. 

Kevin sighed. “It’s…complicated.”

_“I just want you for my own  
More than you could ever know  
Make my wish come true  
All I want for Christmas is you…”_

Everyone had now gathered in the living room, watching them. Alexander did not break eye contact for a second, he wanted to make sure Kevin and everyone else knew that he was signing for Kevin only. 

He sang the whole song. At one point Kevin looked away, and when his gaze returned to Alexander’s, his eyes had softened. In the end, with the final verses, Alexander walked to Kevin, and lifted his hand to caress his cheek. 

“ _All I want for Christmas is you_ ”, he finished. People started applauding.

Kevin stared at him, trying to still look angry, but clearly fighting back a smile. “I can’t believe you just did that!”, he said in a low voice.

Alexander smiled mischievously. “Was that public and gay enough for you?”

Kevin’s eyes were twinkling. “Not sure about the gay, you didn’t even take your sweater off!”

“Maybe this will help, then.” Alexander pulled Kevin in for a kiss. Someone cheered. He turned his head to whisper into Kevin’s ear. “Or you want me to do even gayer things to you, here and now?”

Kevin’s breath caught. “Later,” he whispered back.

Alexander took a step back. “So, can I stay now?”, he asked.

Kevin rolled his eyes. “Okay then. But we still need to talk about this later!”

Alexander shrugged. “Of course!”, he said. Then he turned to the audience. “Thank you. That was all I had to say. Please continue your party.”

***

The last guest left, wishing them a good night with a knowing grin.

“Sooo…”, Kevin walked up to Alexander. “Those even gayer things you planned to do to me. What did you have in mind?”

“Come, I show you!” Alexander pulled Kevin into the dark bedroom and kissed him passionately. Then, suddenly, he pulled away.

“Ah, I’m so sorry Kevin,” he said innocently. “I just remember: you don’t like to kiss me in dark corners!”

“Oh, shut up, Alexander!”. Kevin’s voice was husky as he leaned in to kiss Alexander again. 

***

“What were you planning to do if I had come to the concert?”

They were lying in Kevin’s bed, naked. Alexander turned his head to look at Kevin. “I would have sung it to you on stage.”

“You would not have!”

“Of course, that was my plan.”

“Are you crazy? That would have been the stupidest possible thing to do, outing yourself like that!”

Alexander smiled. “I think I’m a bit crazy for you.” Then he thought for a moment. “Maybe is good you didn’t come.”

Kevin shook his head. “You are unbelievable! And what if I hadn’t been single?”

“Then I would have taken my sweater off.” Alexander grinned. “You would have chosen me.”

Kevin had to laugh. “I can’t believe you!”

They looked at each other in silence for a minute.

Alexander rolled on his side and leaned his head on his hand. “So, what are you doing on Christmas?”

Kevin sighed. “I’ve already promised to spend it with my family. And no, I’m not taking you with me, don’t even ask!”

Alexander traced Kevin’s jawline with his finger. “Okay, what about New Year’s, then?”

“No plans, really. Some party invitations. What did you have in mind?”

“I don’t know. What do you like? We can go anywhere. New York, maybe?”

Kevin smiled at him. “New York sounds perfect.”


End file.
